drowsy nights, and open eyes.

Its crazy how you barely know a man for half your life, but in the end can still bring you to tears. I love you grandpa. I was gonna visit you sometime this weekend but for now im going to have to wait for heaven. I hope you’re watching down on me watching me go through with my accomplishments. Even thought we both never made an effort to seeeing eachother i wish you knew how much i’ve wanted to go and see you, and how much I actually miss you. You taught me a valuable lesson that i’ll never ever forget. Value you’re time and don’t wait to do things. Finish it as soon as possible because before you know it it could be over. May 18th r.i.p )’:

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fucking fuck fucker.

what’s wrong i don’t know. i have everything i have a log ng family and friends who stick with me through everything but still i feel so empty its like Im missing something i just don’t know what. i can type out my problems and i can think in my head but when someone asks me that question i just i can’t even explain to then what’s wrong i can’t open up to anybody and thats my problem cause i can’t let anything out. I wish I could but its impossible for some reason. i need help.

i hate my feeling for him, there’s no point but as I sit and cry I obviously can’t talk myself into believe that. i see these pictures of him on instagram and i hate how I’ve gained so many feelings for him. i just need to become best friends with him again but that will never happen I hate how fucking young I am.. i hate how he doesn’t even notice me or care to think of me and he is constantly on my mind. we’re perfect he just doesn’t realize how we have so many things in common.. ohwell, life goes on..

dear mom&dad. Im having a tough time understanding why you won’t let me have a sleep over with my best friend. honestly, if you knew what we’ve been through together you wouldn’t be doing this, she’s been there by my side through everything and has helped me through everything, I’ve never ever talked behind her back and if I have I’ve told her already. I have this trust with her that I don’t have with anybody else, she’s that one friend I’ve never ever fought with we haven’t hung out for 2 months and we are still best friends, nothings changed, we could hang out and still have an amazing time. but i don’t like the fact that i haven’t hung out with her for 2 months, i think you guys are being completely unfair about everything. so yeah, you caught us with a bong and she got ‘thelips’ but thats no reason because we got the weed from someone you both know. It wasn’t just her idea it was both of us & it wasnt just her, I did it with another one of my friends, I told you the complete truth and you reward me by doing this? thanks a lot. I hope you know that youre forcing me to drop one of the most important things in my life. and it kills me to know that i may never ever see my bestfriend until youre ‘okay with it’ which I debt know when that’ll be. so can you please talk to me before you make decisions or I will turn into a fucking rebellious teenager and show you that things can be worse. much love; your sugar.